Abel Brainz Digest, Vol. 56 - June 27, 2024
Hello Again!
This is going to be a long one, so buckle up.
cool music stuff
I made this playlist last year. Here it is again for quicker reference or if you didn't read that volume.
cool(?) career/performance stuff
TL;DR
Rejection is hard
Your choices are enough
I still love acting/performing
Take care of yourself
I recently had the pleasure of developing/writing/performing a 5 minute set for a character showcase at Dad's Garage. There were/are 'rounds,' so the goal was to 'advance.'
I was surprised, bummed, disappointed, and confused. How did I not even get to the second round??? Was I that bad? The answer was no. Not even close. The consolation was that I managed to perform on a night full of other strong performances. I made the decision hard for the deciders, which is about as good as it gets without moving on.
I recently read about rejection and have been talking to people about how to accept it. I never talk about how much it still may hurt. When the thing you're going after has been a life-long dream, to be close to it and then feel that it's so far away all over again... well...
It's tough.
Why am I still doing this? What else can I do? What else do I love as much?
I was at the grocery store the other day and a vendor was arranging the section of bread belonging to the brand he worked for. He took real pride in it. I wondered if he loved it. I often wonder how many people love what they do. I wonder how many people have the privilege of following what they love. I've had the privilege of being an actor for almost 20 years. Have I only been an actor? No. My list of "side gigs" over the years kind of sounds like this.
I digress. Back to not 'advancing.' After an incredible lack of sleep which morphed into some soul-searching, and a whole lot of confusion, I had a delightful conversation with one of the deciders. Transparency is often lacking in this biz. Especially the kind that doesn't help you second-guess your career choice. Hearing about the specifics that kept me from 'advancing' allowed me to really revel in the positive. I loved what I put in front of people (My choices were enough) I developed a solid 3-4minutes in hours. Sure, it was a couple of weeks. Tally up all of the hours I worked during the weeks, and we're really only talking about 5 hours of working on it. So, that solid of a set, in a limited amount of time? Pretty good.
And I truly loved being on that stage. Some of you reading came out to support and I appreciate it beyond words. Even after not 'advancing,' I still can't wait to be in front of an audience or a camera again.
I've been putting words in quotes because the idea of competition certainly entered my brain. 20 years ago, I'm sure I would've looked at the other sets and quantified them. Even though I used this passage a few months ago, I'm bringing it back.
Art is about the maker. Its aim: to be an expression of who we are. This makes competition absurd. Every artist's playing field is specific to them. You are creating the work that best represents you. Another artist is making the work that best represents them. The two cannot be measured against one another. -Rick Rubin, The Creative Act: A Way of Being
It helped.
And it also helped (is helping) to do stuff I enjoy. Water my garden, rewatch a favorite movie, buy myself a delicious iced coffee, write this newsletter, etc. We have to take care of ourselves and pay attention to the little things that make us happy, or calm us down (most cases both)
I hope you're already knowing what that thing (those things) are. I hope every rejection is an opportunity to eventually find the positive to reinforce how dope you really are. Take care of yourselves.
Thoughts? Questions? Hit me up!
Click here for all the past volumez.
And remember, this labor of love is handcrafted and distilled every week. Click here if you want to show some love and "subscribe." And even if you don't, I'll still send you the newsletter :)
Much love,
Abel